I had lunch today with Jiganesh and Kevin at Baywalk. It was fun. I was fairly busy today at work, which is a welcome change from last week where I did absolutely nothing. I'm gonna go see Chad tomorrow at his job. I said that I would hang out with Kevin tomorrow, but kind of only because he wanted to tonight. He's a nice guy, I just don't need anyone getting attached to me quite at this point in time.
Well, Matt and I broke up. It was a mutual thing, and took place after a tumultuous week. There was a lack of communication on Monday, and Matt was here almost as soon as I got home from work. I was overly pissy about it, mainly cuz I wanted to have some time to myself to shower and clean the house a little bit. So he left on Monday evening after only a couple hours. On Tuesday I went to Fortunato's with Kevin, and we hung out and drank. I had been having a bad night and just wanted to enjoy a drama free couple of hours. So I did. Matt called me at some point in the night and asked if I was by myself. I said yes, cuz I didn't want to hear it from him. The next time I saw Matt, he came over and was extremely broody and questioning. Asking me what was going on, that sort of thing. We had a long talk, and basically decided to break up. He stormed out, and about 15 minutes he drives back to my house and is yelling up to my window. I let him in and we started talking more, we walked down to the bay where we talked so more. Oh my, so much talking should not be required... Anyways, we decided once again to break up the next day on the phone.
I miss you Matt, I really do. I love you, and want you in my life. I have so many good memories of our time together, brief as they may have been. Things the last couple days have been too dramatic, one day you want to talk to me, the next day you hate me. So I think you need to take some time and think things over. Maybe we shouldn't talk for a while. You think I don't understand you, but I really do. I know you hate when I bring up the age thing, but I felt like I was dating myself when I was 19.
Anyways, you were right when you said that I wasn't ready for a relationship. I'm not. I didn't even really want one. But I liked you, so I dated you, I thought I knew what I was doing, but aparently, I fucked up big time. I still don't know a whole lot of people in Tampa, and I got some advice that was hard to hear, but it's true. I need to meet new people, date, enjoy myself and get to know the area. I don't need to be attached to one person. I'm sorry, that's just me.
Current Mood:
Distracted
I just talked to Shane, he is in the process of moving from Natalie's house to these guys John & Jeff's house. Fun Fun. He's gonna be there for 2 months and then he wants to come down here. Details on this later.
Oh my, I started a new project last night. I dreamt up another purpose for this site. It's gonna be fantastic. The new site is up, but I won't tell you where it is yet... More details later.
Matt, one more thing, I'd really like you to think about what I've said. I'm really sorry about things that happened between us. If you'd like to talk, that would be cool. I wish I could be with you tomorrow. :(
