| Current mood:  contemplative On March 17th, 2000, my good friend Jessica Rose passed away. So St Patrick's day is always a reminder of when I found out. Jessica had pneumonia and before I even knew she was in the hospital, I heard that she had died. Tragically enough, the pneumonia didn't kill her, the doctors at Meadville Medical Center punctured her lung while trying to drain fluids. I was a senior in high school, several months away from graduation.
Strangely enough, I've not really told anyone that I've met since then about Jessica. It's kind of a private and really sad thing for me. In high school I had a really close group of friends, and honestly now, I speak to only one or two of those people on a regular basis. The majority of the people I knew from then I have completely lost touch with.
It's been five years since I went to Jessica's funeral. I rode there with Erika, and then came back to an empty apartment. I don't remember where my roommates were, I just remember I felt as empty inside as the apartment was, usually filled with friends... They played Counting Crows, Long December at the funeral- a closed casket.
It just seems so crazy that people that were so important to me at the time, I now don't even know where they are. Sometimes life just seems like it's such a depressing cycle of people coming into my life, and then leaving without a trace. What do I have to show for all the friendships that I've lost. Sometimes I haven't always had the time or energy to keep in touch with people in different cities. I have my own problems and life to worry about, but it just sucks. I miss everyone, even in the present as I struggle to hang onto my friends who now live in different cities or I've grown apart from. Is it even worth trying to hold onto the past, should I just find new friends to replace the old ones. I mean, I guess it's inevitable that that will happen, it just seems to happen too fast, and leaves me feeling empty.  | Currently listening:
Long December
By Counting Crows
Release date: By 15 June, 1999 |
3:07 PM |
25/07/2006, 23:23
wow ive read things in my life before but none of the storys ive hurd were like that one.. i know just how u fell not about losing a friend but i know people who have lost someone and it makes mee fell sadd to .. and about the freinds like u were saying should u move on dont no matter what they will always run bac to u or they will be there for suport.. this jus happend to me soo i knoe how u feel just hang in there and i love the story u should be an authorr..
ashlee